My Experience with Supporting Those Who Have Lost a Loved One

So, this week I wanted to talk about a very difficult subject that has been weighing heavily on my heart, grief. Recently, it seems like every time I turn around someone is gone, and it is so hard to cope with, but it is a difficult part of life and we need to know how to help those left behind. We don’t always know what to do for someone who has just lost a loved one or even what to say, for that matter. It’s hard to say what they might need from you at the time because they probably don’t even know what that is themselves. It’s impossible to know how someone feels during this time, especially if you haven’t been through it yourself. The important thing is to just let them know that you are there for them for whatever they may need.

My nephew, Sam.

Last year before Christmas we lost my nephew at 8 years old. My sister lives in another state and it was very hard for me to decide how to be there for her, when I couldn’t physically be there. I ended up sending her some money, which she needed to help pay for the services for him, but ultimately, she was just thankful for my calls and messages I sent to her. Just letting her know I am here for her was a great comfort to her. 

Sad Woman Painting

In the beginning of January, a good friend of mine and neighbor, lost her husband. She is just the sweetest person you could ever meet, and at her husband’s funeral there were approximately a few hundred people. You could just feel how much love surrounded them. I often felt like I couldn’t do anything because she had so much support from everyone. I sent her a little text here and there letting her know that I was thinking of her and I’m here. They had their dinners planned for the next month and a half, and I would see people at her house all the time when they did come back home. So, my daughter and I ended up bringing her and her daughter some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream one night. It was the first time I had the chance to talk to her since her husband’s death and I realized that this was all she needed.

My daughter is in 8^th grade and she recently had a friend who passed away, and when I say recently, I mean like last week. We are actually going to the funeral for him this weekend. The parents asked that everyone wear Star Wars or super hero attire because that’s what he loved. Just a simple gesture can go so far. We were not close with the family, but my daughter had gone to school with this kid since preschool, so we knew we had to help support. The whole school had a fundraiser for him, and It was a really great help to the family.

There are many different choices for flowers

Something you can do is send flowers and a lot of people choose to do this. Some try to get people to donate to a certain organization of their choice in lieu of spending money on flowers. If you decide you want to send flowers, make sure you do your research and pick the right ones. Here is a helpful guide to help you choose which ones would be appropriate, or you may even know if the deceased had a favorite flower; That would also be a good idea.

A good friend of mine who lost her father about a year ago told me, “The world continues while your world stops and it’s sad but that’s life.” This might be one of the more difficult things because when you lose a loved one you feel like life can’t go on, but it does, and they need people to help ease them into their new life without their loved one. It is going to be very different for them. I have learned that they may feel overwhelmed with how much support they get in the beginning, but make sure you are still there when everyone else has gone back to their lives. Be the friend or relative that hasn’t forgotten about them; Be there for all the stages of grief which you can find in this link. They will truly be thankful to you for doing just that.

Never stop being there for those who need you.